The Lens

All We Want for Christmas Is Leslie Jordan

Nothing says Christmas like porn, caroling and a diminutive hairy man shimmying seductively in an accidental micro-mini.

Leslie Jordan is the gift that keeps on giving.

Last year, the Emmy winner feasted on viral virility when he posted a breakfast video to Instagram. But this was no ordinary foodie fare. While Mr. Jordan (messily) ate his egg sandwich, he offered a mouthful of critiques re: the adult film that played just off screen.

Don’t you dare judge him!

The smutty brunch content clearly got Leslie’s juices flowing because he joined the ranks of exhibitionist royalty with two posts back in September.

The first pic depicts Jordan’s, um, hot rod in all of its topless glory.

Perched adorably next to his convertible circa 1980, lusty Leslie sports sailor pants, a smile, and not much else. Fans went gaga over the lush forest of fur protruding from Jordan’s pint-sized frame, so he puffed out his pecs for another throwback post.

In his next thirst trap supreme, Leslie invokes the names of Paul Rudd and Robin Williams while evoking a dashing discotheque aesthetic.

More recently, Jordan flexed his funny bone and stripped off everything but an oversized tank top that showcased his furry shoulders as well as his Nancy Sinatra dance moves.

These boots are made for comedy!

Fast forward to the queer and now: Leslie Jordan is gay’ing up Christmas (finally!) with the help of the limitlessly talented Cheyenne Jackson. The charismatic duo is reenacting one of the best holiday tunes of all time: the generation-bending collab between Bing Crosby and David Bowie.

Jordan & Jackson’s rendition of the Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth medley is simultaneously precious and powerful. Their vocals dovetail whimsically until your auditory reality is transported to a marshmallow dreamscape.

So, do yourself a favor and add this new Christmas classic to your holiday playlist. Y’all will thank us!

 

Photo: Instagram @thelesliejordan

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Kevin Perry

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