You’d be surprised to learn how often people break up or divorce simply because monotony and boredom consume their relationship. When you’ve been with the same person for years, you develop a sense of comfort and settle into a routine life. These routines become monotonous and boring as time passes, resulting in a disconnect between you and your partner. If neither of you is willing to discuss the issue and make changes, the distance grows, and the relationship fades.
It’s true that some people just grow apart with time. It’s also impossible to avoid daily routines and schedules (if you want a balanced life). However, sometimes it’s just a matter of trying something new to reignite the flames and enhance intimacy. If you’re feeling less than close or bored with your partner, perhaps these suggestions will help bring the spice and intimacy back.
Flirting is expected in the dating phase. It’s an effective way to let your partner know that you find them attractive. However, when you’ve been with someone for a while, you assume they know instead of telling them. When your partner stops hearing how gorgeous you believe they are, it causes some insecurity, reducing the intimacy in the relationship.
Flirt regularly with your partner. Whistle when they’re heading out the door to work, send them a text message and compliment them, or walk up to them and give them a loving embrace as you whisper something sexy in their ear. It makes them feel good and encourages them to return the favor. It also helps you as a couple to focus on why you got together in the first place (instead of always focusing on the negative).
Make Subtle Changes
Monotony and predictability are a relationship’s worst enemies. If things are stale between you and your partner, why not make some subtle changes to reignite the fire? Get a new haircut or dye your hair a different color and see how they react. The next time you go out with your partner, try wearing something outside the norm that accentuates your best attributes. You could switch up your fragrances and purchase a cologne or perfume that provides a soft, sensual, and attention-grabbing vibe.
If you’re trying to spice things up in the bedroom, a new pair of underwear can make a big difference. Try something to appeal to your partner instead of wearing the same old, beat-up, torn, and worn-out undergarments. Whether it’s some silky boxers, a pair of panties, speedos, or briefs, they’ll notice the difference immediately. It’s also a personal confidence booster, so you’ll find that you feel more attractive and ready to spice things up.
Tune The World Out
Outside obligations can cloud the mind and take your time and attention away from your relationship. If you want to bring the spice and intimacy back, you must find ways to tune the world out. Spend at least an hour or two together in the morning before work or in the evening after dinner just to connect. Turn off your phones and the television, and eliminate distractions so you can focus on each other.
When possible, schedule date nights and mini getaways where you guys can get back to what matters most. If necessary, make an itinerary and fill it with things that you enjoy or have always wanted to try. Make the most of your time alone so that when monotony starts to set in, you can remind yourself of those fun and intimate times.
Anyone expecting a long-term relationship to be spontaneous, spicey, and intimate forever is setting themselves up for failure. It’s common for couples to fall into routines and get comfortable. The important thing is not to get too comfortable, or you could risk losing the person you love most. Find simple ways like those listed above to bring back the spice and intimacy and communicate to ensure that you remain on the same page. Although there will still be periods of boredom, it won’t have the same impact if you work as a team.
Last modified: May 11, 2022