Columnists and Letters

Read op-eds, thoughts, reflections, and opinions on LGBT subjects and life in general.

Kevin Phinney

Want to Know the Real You? Look on the Dance Floor

I learned things About myself I could never have known otherwise on the dance floor. I’ve been an avid clubgoer since the glory days of disco, before I understood that being gay...

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young man on a city rooftop

Did I Understand Consent as a Young Gay Man?

In light of recent high-profile allegations of sexual abuse, I can’t help but wonder if I even understood consent when I was a young gay man living in 1990s New York City. You...

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Kevin Phinney

What Made the Mixtape Disappear?

During the reign of Top 40 radio, Kevin mastered crafting crowd-pleasing playlists, but as tastes began to change, he found it harder to get people into the mix. Most of us will...

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Wade Rouse

Dear Diary: It Was the Best of Hair, It Was the Worst of Hair

Wade decides it’s about time he splurged on a visit to an upscale salon, and he certainly ends up paying the price. I spent a majority of my Ozarks childhood accompanying my...

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Paul Hagen

Lend An Ear: Why Editor Paul Hagen is Only Half Listening to You

The summer after kindergarten, I was admitted to the hospital. Something was wrong with my left ear, and the doctors were having difficulty identifying a remedy. They hoped a...

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unhappy dinner plate

I Had a Horrible Gay Break-Up and Couldn’t Stop Losing Weight

I parlayed a painful relationship split into increasingly extreme weight loss – until I discovered how low I could go. A few years ago, I went through one of the worst...

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gnocci

Can You Throw a Big Gay Dinner Party Without the Dinner?

I decided to shake up my party-throwing routine, and the result was a culinary catastrophe. I love the feeling of being a host, but perhaps it’s easier to love when you...

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Wade Rouse

End of Life Care: When You’re Gay Without Kids, Who Will Take Care of You?

In the course of helping their own parents face the slings and arrows of age, Wade and Gary make alternative plans for their own twilight years. It is the call no one hopes to...

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Kevin Phinney

The Greatest Love of All Is Not Easy to Achieve

With all due respect to Whitney Houston, Kevin discovers that learning to love himself involves getting past experiences that made him feel less than proud. “Hooray, now my...

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Wade Rouse

Trip Down Memory Lane

Wade takes his dad for a visit to the past but discovers that the same scenes that bring his father comfort can also be haunting reminders of what was. Each time I visit my...

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Kevin Phinney

Discovering Your Identity: The Trek from Straight Boyfriend to Gay Daddy

Kevin traces his personal evolution from being an altar boy fantasizing about Beatles all the way to embracing being a daddy — and everything in between. looking back, I’ve...

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Wade Rouse

DIARY: Hurting My Pride?

When a book event ends up overflowing with fans of his partner Gary, Wade is left wondering: How come no one showed up to root for him? BY WADE ROUSE On a recent book tour, I...

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