How Do You Help the Man Who's Just Realized Closets Are for Clothes?

Written by | Lifestyle

Carol Sugar-Burke, one of our friends at Bespoke Matchmaking, answers our questions on finding Mr. Right. Today, what’s the best way to ease the anxieties that come along with coming out?

Bespoke Matchmaking

Dear Carol,
I have just met a great guy but; he has just come out and is dealing with a lot of fears and insecurities of his own. I completely understand this is a difficult process and as I have been out for over 22 years I am not quite sure how to help him with this. I am trying to be as patient and encouraging as possible. Do you have any suggestions?

Dear Clueless,
You are already doing better than you think and certainly don’t seem clueless to me. Being supportive and encouraging and patient are the 3 most important things you can do for him. This is new to him and he is just beginning to get his feet wet and you can help him by taking it slow one step at a time. Introduce him to some of your gay friends and help him get out there and build new friendships. Give him time to get use to going out in public as a couple. Treat every day as a new adventure and explore some unique new places with him. Remember no two coming out experiences are the same and never discourage your partner. It can be difficult emotionally for him but, at the beginning what seems difficult as he gains his confidence will become easier and he will feel a sense of relief by being true to himself. You need to be strong for your partner and supportive but; remember this is a difficult time for you as well.
Don’t forget that patience is a virtue and in time your patience will be rewarded!

Carol Sugar-Burke is an Executive Matchmaker for the premier gay and lesbian executive matchmaking firm Bespoke Matchmaking. For more information on Bespoke Matchmaking and to learn about our matchmaking service please click the link below to visit our website,

Last modified: April 17, 2018