Life is such a strange concept and all of us as humans are just trying to make sense of it all. Being a 18 year old black gay man, the world tries to give you a lot of false truth about things, but when I learned who I was for myself, everything began to make more sense.
Growing up, I was always surrounded by art. As a child, I began singing and dancing for family members as soon as I could walk and talk. Coming from a family of performers, it was naturally in my blood. As I got older, I continued to surround myself with art and I came to realize gay people were the brains behind a lot of the artistic things I enjoyed such as fashion, music, theatre, and the list goes on and on. The more I did my own investigation on what this new word “gay” meant, the more I began to identify with it. In middle school I joined my first ever musical which is where I met my first ever boyfriend. This resulted in me coming out of the closet when I was only in 6th grade; so I had to be about 12 years old. Looking back at it now, I’m glad I came out so early because it taught me so much about myself and life.
During the time of my coming out, I faced a lot of judgement. Being told my sexual orientation was a phase and that I was just confused made things even harder to cope with. I used to be friends with all the jock/athletic guys in school, but that all changed when they found out I was attracted to the same sex. I also had resentment coming from home; so everywhere I went it felt I was being judged. The one thing I found solace in was when I worked up the courage to come out to my older brother, he came out to me too. This opened my eyes and showed me being gay is actually normal.
Aside from the hardships I faced during my coming out, a lot of good came. I now had this newfound confidence and began to exude happiness. Once I fully accepted myself, nothing else mattered. Thankfully, I have been able to help people older and younger than myself come out as well. I was once told, just by being unapologetically myself I inspired them and that was something I never intended on doing, but I’m glad I did.
One of my biggest goals in life is to live happily and to completely submerge my life in art. Although, being gay is a big part of my life it was never a huge factor in my goals. I want to provide representation for all the black boys, all the gay boys, all the boys who like fashion that are struggling to find answers from everyone except for the actual people they can relate to and understand them.
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Last modified: August 7, 2019