Live Out Loud: From Article to Activism

23 years ago, Metrosource published “A Gun in the Closet,” an article recounting the lives of 3 LGBTQ youth and the issues they were facing. Moved by the piece, Leo Preziosi decided to do something to continue the efforts to protect LGBTQ+ youth in response to the extremely high suicide rates. He formed Live Out Loud, a nonprofit dedicated to serving LGBTQ+ youth ages 13 to 18 by partnering with families, schools, and communities to provide resources, role models, and opportunities for our at-risk community youth.

After two decades of success, the organization presented its 23^rd Annual Trailblazers Gala last month, bringing together donors, corporate supporters, election officials, and youth scholarship winners to celebrate the organization’s life-affirming educational programming. At the event, 3 LGBTQ+ seniors were awarded the Live Out Loud Young Trailblazers Scholarship Award towards the college of their choice. The event also honored LGBTQ+ mentors, role models, and community builders. Truly inspiring work from just one article.

We caught up with Live Out Loud Founder and Executive Director Leo Preziosi after this monumental event.

You were inspired by an article in Metrosource, “Gun in the Closet,” to create the organization. What compelled you so much to get involved and start a whole non-profit?

The title, “Gun in the Closet” stopped me dead in my tracks. I read those four words and knew what the article was going to be about. I couldn’t face reading it, so I placed it under my bed. Sometime later I opened it and read the article. I read about Robbie and Bill, who came from loving and supporting families who were struggling with their individual circumstances and very sadly, as we hear too often, took their own lives. What hit me the hardest was that the article spoke about the dreams and aspirations they had for their lives. I felt a sense of dread that their dreams would never be realized, dreams that could have impacted the world and changed hundreds, maybe millions of lives. Was Robbie on the path to becoming the next Neil Patrick Harris??? Was Bill on his way to becoming the next Bayard Rustin? We will never know.

After reading that part, that’s when I knew had had to step forward and do something. For me it was a simple task, let’s bring the generations together so queer youth could learn from the elders of the community, elders being anyone from college and beyond. Through the years I saw just how much the elders were learning from the younger generation. Our entire community was benefiting from the programs and conversations that we were initiating.

What were some of the biggest challenges in the early years in getting the word out for Live Out Loud?

I never ran a nonprofit before. I studied photography and fashion design and found myself years later working in marketing and special events for a retail store named Felissimo, which was a tremendous help to me in planning fundraisers for the last 23 years. I was learning from the ground up. I had no idea how a nonprofit ran or how it was structured. It was overwhelming and complicated. It was a very scary time. I took workshops, did research, and went around meeting with the Executive Directors of HMI and GLSEN. I wasn’t planning on creating a nonprofit, it just evolved organically. 

How did starting this organization change your life in those early years?

It was a very special time. When I shared the idea for the work I was doing with friends and colleagues, they were all very eager to step in and help. I was overwhelmed with gratitude. It also made me much more aware of the challenges that queer youth were facing in the early 2000s. When I left high school, I never looked back. I had no interest in school reunions and had no knowledge of the alarming statistics facing our students. Through research and conversations with community members serving LGBTQ+ youth, it made me much more aware.

Now, 23 years later, what are the current biggest challenges?

Where do I begin? We’re a small grassroots operation that operates locally for the time being, in all five boroughs of Manhattan. We’re competing with national organizations with a large development, operations, and communications staff. When corporations look to sponsor a nonprofit, they get more exposure from a national organization than from a local organization. So, they prefer to go national and not just local. I hear that a lot.

What was your personal coming out story and personal experience as an LGBTQ youth?

My high school years were a time filled with fear. It was a daily feeling that overcame me at the start of each day, from getting on the school bus, sitting in homeroom, walking the hallways, and taking gym or shop class. I never knew when the verbal assaults would take place. It was like dodging bullets. I was on guard all the time. It was something I lived with every day.

After much therapy, I concluded that I had to start the process of coming out, especially to my parents. I remember taking a 3-day workshop titled “Coming Out” or something like that. The facilitators shared that after the 3 days, you would have the opportunity to write letters to your family and share your coming out story. I knew I would never do that, but I also knew that this workshop was the next step in me accepting that I was gay. It turned out to be an amazing 3 days, so much so that I wrote a 17-page letter to my father and a 16-page letter to my mother sharing who I was, their gay son, as well as many other things I was going through. I mailed the letters on a Monday. I was living in NYC at the time and my parents were on Long Island. I knew by Thursday that they would have received the letters. That day my phone rang, and my machine answered. I knew it was them, but I couldn’t pick up. Later that evening, I was at my acting class. It was the day Jackie Kennedy Onassis died – May 19, 1994. The teacher made a point of sharing that it was an important moment in history. That evening, I recited a monologue, coming out to my father.

The next day, May 20^th, was my mother’s birthday. My parents called me that evening, and this time I picked up. Being Italian and Catholic we avoided what really had to be said. My Father started off by saying, “Weren’t you going to call Mom on her birthday, and will you be coming home tomorrow to celebrate with us?” I said, “Dad – Of course, I was going to call to wish Mom a Happy Birthday and of course, I was going to come home to celebrate Mom’s birthday the next day”. After that was out of the way, there was a pause, I was waiting for what we really should be talking about – the letters. Once again, in avoidance, my mother started, “Isn’t that terribly sad about Jackie Kennedy Onassis?” “Yes,” I said, “very sad.” After another pause, finally I said, “I just sent you both important letters, did you get them? Did you have a chance to read them?” “Yes,” my father said. He assured me everything was fine and that I should come home tomorrow and that we would talk about it.

When my sister came to pick me up at the train station, she had tears in her big blue eyes, I’ll never forget that. When I entered the house, my father greeted me at the landing and hugged me for a very long time and when I was ready to release from my father’s embrace, he continued to hug me and would not let me go. My mother greeted me with tears, a smile, and a hug. We sat in the living room where my father led the conversation. “You’re my son and will always love you”. I said, “What about the church”? He said that didn’t matter and repeated, “You are my son, and I will always love you.”

On the following Sunday, and like any other Italian, Catholic family we all went to church together. It was also the Sunday celebrating the coming of the Holy Spirit. That same year the movie Philadelphia was in theaters which was a legal drama film starring Tom Hanks as Andrew Beckett, an associate who sues his law firm after being fired for having AIDS. The film also starred Denzel Washington, who played the lawyer defending Tom Hank’s character.

During the homily, the deacon shared how at first Denzel Washington’s character was not very kind or empathetic to Tom Hanks’ character. However, slowly throughout the movie Denzel Washington’s character came around and had compassion for what Tom Hanks’s character was going through. The deacon shared how Denzel was overcome by the Holy Spirit and that’s how he came to a new understanding. The deacon then said to the congregation that God doesn’t care if you’re straight or gay, God loves you no matter what. And with that, the entire congregation applauded. I just turned a looked at my mother in disbelief.

How have you changed the most from running this organization, 23 years later?

Meditation has been an especially important factor in my life. It quiets me down and gives me the opportunity to look at situations from different perspectives. I’ve also learned that my team needs to express their ideas and I’ve learned to leave the development and design of programming in their capable hands.

Looking back, what have some of the biggest achievements been for the organization?

I believe our longevity; we’ve been around now for 23 years. We made it through the financial crisis in 2014 and the COVID epidemic in 2020. Still difficult to believe that it all happened in a such short amount of time.

One of the most wonderful moments for me is when Lance Black won the Academy Award for the screenplay MILK, I reached out to his publicist and arranged for him to participate in Live Out Loud’s Homecoming Project. This was our national program where we invited members of the LGBTQ+ community to return to their hometown high schools to share their stories with the next generation of LGBTQ+ youth. Within a week we were on the phone with Lance, his publicity team, our program team, and our producers. Within 6 weeks we arrived at his hometown high school in North Salinas California to film a short documentary of his visit. Over 1000 students filled the Gymnasium. Lance spoke so articulately and beautifully. One student came out as bisexual in front of all his peers. Shout-outs of “We love you” filled the gymnasium. I just looked at the producers in disbelief. It was a magical moment. Probably one of the best moments of my life.

What are the biggest issues facing our youth today?

I believe the support of their parents is the biggest issue facing our students today. Without the knowledge of their parents knowing that their kid is queer, they live in the shadows. If the family does know their kid is queer, the parents might show hostility and sometimes ask them to leave the house, even today, here in NYC, that still happens which is so difficult to believe. Just last week I received a phone call from a student who was college-age and was looking for housing because her father asked her to leave the house because she was queer.

Another situation that is happening in our schools is sometimes a lack of support from the leadership at the middle and high school levels. The students are not getting the support if they choose to use a gender-neutral bathroom. They must go through a series of steps from first getting the permission of the teacher to go to the restroom and then going to another teacher or counselor to ask for the key to the gender-neutral bathroom. Many times, we hear from our students that those who hold the key are very disrespectful to them. Once they get into the gender-neutral bathroom, it’s a mess.

How have some of the political laws against our community’s youth affected Live Out Loud?

The conversation in the country that has come from anti-LGBTQ+ and anti-trans legislation being introduced, and bills being passed is giving people permission to be more vocal in their opposition. This is impacting our students. Imagine hearing leaders around the country introducing legislation that discriminates against you.

What are some of the most important statistics regarding our youth and suicide that we should be aware of?

LGTBQ+ youth, particularly LGBTQ+ youth of color, continue to be the most abused, stigmatized, and vulnerable of all minorities. LGBTQ+ youth have significantly higher rates of homelessness, drug use, mental illness, suicide, and other threats to their health and well-being than other teens. Over 45% of LGBTQ+ youth reported having seriously considered suicide in the past twelve months. This percentage grows to over half among transgender and nonbinary youth. A significant number of LGBTQ+ youth report feeling unsafe and unsupported at home, with many experiencing abuse and discrimination from family members. More than 29% of LGBTQ+ youth have experienced homelessness, been kicked out, or run away from home at some point in their lives.

How can the general LGBTQ public most help our youth?

Our community must play a more active role when it comes to participating in the lives of our LGBTQ+ students. The opposition is strategic, well-positioned with their rhetoric, and very well-funded. They are stoking fear and it’s working very well. It’s vital that our community find an organization, school, or community center to get involved. Our LGBTQ+ kids need role models, representation in the media, and allies to speak out during this unfortunate time in our country’s history.

Congrats on your 23^rd Annual Gala! What is your favorite part of the event?

Our Young Trailblazer scholarship winners stand before our guests with such courage. They have an opportunity to share their journey, their challenges, and the initiatives they created to face these challenges in their schools. It’s my favorite moment of the evening. It’s a time for our students to be acknowledged by the community. It’s also a time for the community at large to see the next generation of LGBTQ+ leaders.

This year we are honored to be celebrating the achievements and the advocacy work of Emmy Award-winning and Grammy Award-nominated Wayne Brady, artist and activist Peppermint, Executive Vice President, Tiyale Hayes at BET Media, and José Rolón, NYC Gay Dad, influencer and TV host.

You are awarding the Live Out Loud Young Trailblazers Scholarship Award to seniors in high school, what was the process in choosing these students? What are you most proud of this group of students for achieving?

There is an application that students submit with Q&A, essays, and references from teachers and advisors. Along with our program team and committee, we go through two rounds to process the applications. The final seven are interviewed by me, and our program manager. After reading their applications and references and interviewing the scholarship applicants, the winners always seem to stand out.

Every year the students continue to inspire us, and this year is no different. They are resilient, well-accomplished, and active in their communities. Even though they all have faced many challenges and difficulties they are happy and have all had this incredible kind and gentle spirit about them.

What is your message to LGBTQ youth?

Be proud of yourself. You are courageous and resilient. Our community looks at you with deep respect and awe. You should know that your advocacy work is having a tremendous impact in your schools and for those students who follow you. WE LOVE YOU!

For more information, head to https://liveoutloud.org/