Rub-a-Dub YUM: Jordan Firstman Gets Clean/Dirty

Written by | Music, The Lens

From his comedy chops to his pop-culture domination to his style galore, we stan Jordan Firstman. Perhaps it has something to do with his hairy, hairy body. Fur sure!

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I honestly can’t believe this photo didn’t exist until today.

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We don’t mean to objectify Mr. Firstman, but… hmm, can’t seem to finish this sentence wholesomely. His lithe, swarthy features hypnotize us into a state of sensual ferocity. You otter know!

Firstman has served as a writer, producer, director, and sultry star for years, so we’ve been “crossing Jordan” quite frequently. Most recently, he has lent his considerable talents to such hits as The Other Two, Tales from the Closet, and Search Party. But now, he’s stripping away the artifice and heating up the lead role in Spa, the latest music video from Icona Pop and SOFI TUKKER.

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SPA

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Oh, did we forget to mention that their new song rocks? Sorry, we were so distracted by Firstman’s hirsute hotness that we buried the lede: this new song is destined to become the soundtrack to your next orgy. It begins with the casual mention of “naked bodies everywhere, I’m ok, you can stare.”

Oh, we’re staring, alright – especially as Jordan Firstman fellates a rose and lip-syncs to the swirling seductiveness of the driving pulse.

As the tune reaches its festive chorus, Icona Pop sings, “Done with the club, just take me to the spa, ahh.” The video evokes the heyday of bathhouse excess, when champagne would wash away all your sins and fuel you up for another round of anonymous intercourse.

Writhing in a sea of (extremely lucky) bubbles, Firstman bares his perfect caboose and begs for the viewer to join him in a state of lathered ecstasy.

The rhythm is reminiscent of Icona Pop’s legendary I Love It, but now they are joining fierce forces with SOFI TUKKER, who chants, “Put some cukes on my eyes, tell me, is this paradise? Slap my body with a birch, in the morning, we go to church.”

The video effortlessly blends vintage voyeurism with tongue-in-cheek humor… and plenty of ass shots. Truly, Jordan has earned a seat in the pantheon of our fave disco DILFs. Watch for yourself, and get ready to drop the beat, drop your inhibitions, and drop the soap.

Last modified: November 11, 2020