Splendid Choices That Only Come with Confidence

Written by | The Lens

Once upon a time, there was a myth that wisdom only came with age.  That is just so not true.  As the brightest and best in the LGBTQ+ community can attest, living your truth brings wisdom.  For every ounce of determination it takes to have courage, you are rewarded with twice as much confidence on the back end.  When you know you can rely on yourself to be your best self, your choices can get pretty wonderful and much easier. 

Let’s look at some of the decisions that are simpler when you have faith in yourself.

Take on a Fight…Or Not

In your more naïve days, you may have been full of spunk and ready to take on the world.  No problem was too big or too small.  Maybe you didn’t even fully respect when to mind your own business?  

While we need the zeal of youth to keep us inspired, the world also needs good judgment.  Spending a ton of energy fighting against something that isn’t actually hurting anyone is for life’s unhappy amateurs.  When you are confident, you know when to say, “not my circus, not my monkeys” and walk away towards better uses of your time.

Stay in or Go Out

When you are comfortable in your own skin and with your own company, the pressure to conform and perform evaporates.  If you feel like getting gussied up and hitting your favorite scene, you go with gusto.  If you feel like a bath, the Bach cello suites, and some daydreams are going to be divine, you follow your bliss. 

FOMO is not a thing when you are comfortable with what you have.  Fear of missing out on what? Nothing is better than doing just exactly and precisely what you feel like doing.  Period.

Choosing to Stand Out… Or Not

Having control over your appearance is powerful.  Being self-possessed enough to know when, where and why you want to deploy one look over another is like being fluent in another language.  Being able to blend in or stand out is a kind of social currency.  Also, real confidence is knowing that you look beautiful just as you are, and that if you add some glitz and glam, it’s a bonus not a requirement. 

Of course, having the choice to switch at will between being anonymous, professional, wholesome, or a sex siren requires not just poise, but also a small arsenal of resources.  There are two main types of items to keep in stock to shore up your self-reliance.  The first are the basic products that give you your canvas, namely good skin and healthy hair.  You know when you buy beauty basics, like a good facial cleanser or a high quality brush-on mineral sunscreen, you are investing in yourself and your ability to present yourself as your authentic and best self. 

The second is a core wardrobe of clothes that make you feel terrific.  Notice that the key word is feel, not look.  Looking nice is for other people.  Feeling good is for you.

Investing Versus Dabbling

Some things are worth a little of your time or money because they are fun and why not?  Other, rarer things are worth going all in on.  When you know your value, it’s easier to discern what people, things, and opportunities have qualities worth acquiring. 

Relationships come in all shapes and sizes.  Some folks are marriage material and some you can’t swipe left on fast enough.  With enough experience and trust in your instincts, you know who is worth loving, dating, and letting in. 

Possessions take up a good chunk of your budget.  Acquiring them, paying for them, maintaining them, and storing them is a commitment for your bank account, your home, and your head space.   Knowing how much your time and energy is worth helps you remain resolute in walking away.   That life-size, glitter covered horse statue is definitely a statement piece, but you pass because you don’t actually own a construction crane and how do you even dust it? 

The Big Idea

Confidence gives you the choices to know when to pivot and when to carry on, and to do so happily.  When you like who you are, for who you really are, you don’t bother comparing yourself to others in ways that steal your joy for your own life.

Last modified: March 31, 2022