The Devil Made Him Do It – We Stan Lil Nas X

Written by | Miscellaneous

There’s trouble afoot! Gay rap sensation Lil Nas X recently released a custom line of satanic sneakers and the world proceeded to lose their damn minds.

Perhaps it’s because each shoe contains a drop of real human blood in their soles? Or maybe Nas is just a bold, brilliant target for racism, homophobia and general ignorance. We’re gonna go with the latter.

Seriously, have you met the internet?

The nastiest net troll may just be Kaitlin Bennett, the self-appointed “gun girl” who reportedly soiled herself at a party. What was the theme of that particular soiree, BYOBMs?

Anywho, Bennett made the grievous mistake of boasting on Twitter that Lil Nas X had blocked her, to which the musician masterfully responded…

Oh, but she didn’t learn her lesson (or anything else for that matter). Fannie Oakley decided to double down on her hate speech by implying that the rapper was estranged from his father because… well, because of the aforementioned racism and homophobia that infects her teensy brain.

But don’t worry, Nas took it all in stride and took her down royally.

If you think it ends there, then you don’t understand the depths of depravity that Bennett can sink. She is literally illiterate, retweeting the above message and declaring that Lil Nas X threatened to rape her dad.

You read that correctly. If you don’t believe it, then you have more conscience and cognitive skills in your pinky than Bonehead Bennett has in her frizzy pinhead. Trust and verify – here’s the tweet in question:

Apparently, conservatives are unable to distinguish between sex and rape. The most dimwitted bulbs on the alt-right rushed to Bennett’s defense. I guess all those guns are just for show, eh snowflake?

But Lil Nas X continues to rise above. He is a creative force of nature in an unnaturally hostile landscape. His latest megahit escapes the confines of earth and explores a celestial playground of temptation and devilishly daring visuals. Enjoy, and try not to poop yourself (we’re talking to you, Kaitlin).

Last modified: May 26, 2021