Strap in for style because we’re getting a grip on the sexiest undergarments on the market. As gyms reopen en masse, sporty studs require sturdy support for their precious equipment up front and room to breathe for their back-end assets. But what magical article of clothing is capable of boosting the bulge while simultaneously framing the almighty caboose?
Enter the jock strap (yes, please)!
The gods of intimate design have bestowed upon us the perfect pouch for getting sweaty with the guys. Gruff Pup has elevated the art of athletic wear as well as giving us a “rise” of our own.
Get your mind in the gutter, because our workout has just begun, son.
The lines of a jock strap expertly accentuate the sinewy contours of a man’s musculature. Notice how the undulating walls of this C-IN2 model’s abdominal playground guide our gay gaze ever downward, pondering his package as our periphery immerses itself in a forest of body hair.
Feel the burn and feast your eyes on our next bawdy brand. Addicted is geared towards the discerning gentleman who prefers to get his cardio from contact sports, if you catch our drift.
And after your fitness fetish fix has been drained, you’re ready to go back to the office. But even when you’re dressing up, you can still get down and dirty. PUMP! caters to the hedonistic duality of our queer souls. We crave refinement and durability, yet we can’t wait to unravel our desires in the privacy of our bedroom (or locker room, as the case may be).
Jock straps are a metaphor for gay sex in general. They emphasize masculinity from one angle while ushering us into the annals of pleasure from another angle. Ostensibly crafted for exercise, jocks actually flex our fertile imagination more than any other muscle.
BUTT, no review of skimpy skivvies would be complete without an awkwardly translated ode to underwear that “satisfies your inner feeling better.” Yup, that’s a direct quote from Bshetr’s promo clip that begins with “every fresh morning” and builds to a cryptic promise: “It can feel like existing in nowhere, or everywhere.”
The inadvertently hilarious video ends with an anthemic flourish, encouraging the viewer to “enjoy your sexy life.”
Oh, we will, Bshetr. You can b-sure of that.
Last modified: May 25, 2021