Gosh bless the internet. When a simple split-screen image of a hawt uniformed stud popped up (boing!) on Twitter, it resulted in a tsunami of warmth that spread from our nether regions ever outward.
— Machos Selectos (@ElverGarrica13) January 11, 2022
Yummy, right?
So of course, we casually (feverishly) conducted a reverse image search to find the identity of Sergeant Sexypants.
Turns out, it’s Jerry Dyer, the former police chief in Fresno, California.
Naturally, we ogled – oops, googled the top cop’s name + LGBTQ and it resulted in the fact that Lieutenant LusciousLips in now the city’s mayor. Even though he’s a staunch conservative (boner hazard!), we learned that Mr. Dyer has a great heart beating under that furry, barrel chest of his.
Rawr, supreme.
Last June, members of his own party pressured the mayor to reject a proposal to fly the Pride flag at City Hall. But instead of kowtowing to the cowards, he spoke his own truth.
“I have my foundational faith in Christ, I don’t hide that,” Dyer told the Los Angeles Times. “But I don’t want that to stand in the way of me causing people to feel loved and supported in our community.”
Dyer went on a listening tour that started by searching his own soul.
“Do the right thing for the right reason,” he declared. “Make decisions based on pure motives and not for political expediency or gain, because at the end of the day that’s what going to allow you to live with yourself.”
Anecdotes flooded the mayor’s inbox. Gay citizens recounted incidents of ostracism, hatred and oppression due to how they were born and whom they happen to love.
“It broke my heart hearing those stories one after another,” Dyer extolled.
The mayor finally decided to scrap his earlier plan to compromise by flying the rainbow stripes at a nearby park. Instead, the Pride flag waved gloriously above City Hall “as a symbol of hope, a symbol of inclusion, a symbol of being supported.”
And to think, we stumbled across this rare instance of bipartisan enlightenment all because of a thirst trap tweet. Speaking of which, you can watch the full video of a shirtless Dyer getting doused right damn here. The Fresno PD removed the 2014 clip from their Facebook page, but love – and lusty web searches – always find a way. Stay moist, Jerry.
Last modified: January 11, 2022