You Can’t Spell #GraySweatpants without G-A-Y

Written by | The Lens

As the temperatures drop, our appetite for the season heats up. No, we’re not talking about pumpkin spice shenanigans – it’s gray sweatpants time!

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Just beautiful. Period.

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No garment accentuates the male form more pleasingly than good ol’ G.S. There is even an Instagram account dedicated to depicting the battle of the bulge, and we all win! Truly, you are a hero and a visionary, @MenInGreySweatpants (whoever you are).

Whoa, can we show that much manliness on here? Oh, well – ‘tis better to ask for forgiveness than permission. One of the grrreat gifts that keep on giving when it comes to gray sweats is how they have two sides to every story. Mmhmm, that’s right – we didn’t forget about the buns enthusiasts out there.

Being gay is an exercise (pun firmly intended) in self-awareness. We love others of the same sex, which helps us understand our own gender a bit more fully. Gray sweatpants offer a great example of this dualistic dynamic.

When we see a sporty stud flexing from every seam of his active wear, we of course appreciate the sight as an onlooker. But we also understand how he feels. We appreciate the cotton caress of form-fitting bottoms cradling our unmentionables (and yet we mention them often and loudly).

In other words: we don’t just ogle gray sweatpants; we ARE gray sweatpants. The LGBTQ community has fought for centuries to have the right to snuggle and grope and just laze around with the ones we love. Gray sweatpants manifest our victories, one perfect package at a time.

We accept your tantalizing trophies wrapped in charcoal material graciously. Your perfectly chiseled thighs may swell, your protruding calves may pivot away from us, but you can never escape our adoration, sweatpants-wearers.

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Buckle up.

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Is it hot in here, or is it just our sweats? Time to shower off and bust out a fresh pair. See you in style!

Last modified: October 16, 2020