Itching for a romantic weekend away with your sweetie? Look no further than Cove Haven, an LGBT-friendly couples-only resort located less than three hours from the city in The Poconos. Earlier this month, my partner and I took a bus from Port Authority to Pennsylvania to experience the place first hand. By Matt Gross
Upon being greeted at the bus stop by the resort’s Love Machine – an around-the-clock van delivering guests to and from Cove Haven and its neighboring areas – we checked in and our collective jaws dropped upon entering our room within the Champagne Tower. The multi-level suite is comprised of a heart-shaped heated pool, a surreal seven foot tall champagne glass tub/jacuzzi (something that looks like it could be easily used in one of Dita Von Teese’s burlesque shows), a fireplace, chocolate truffles, countless treats, a plethora of candles, champagne glasses, and more. The room also has some amazing mood lighting and was fully adorned with hundreds of rose petals on the steps and in the massive king-sized circular bed – complete with a mirrored ceiling. For fans of tacky romance novels featuring Fabio and his doe-eyed love interest on the cover front and center, this is no doubt a dream space. Massage and spa services are also available to purchase as well to further relax and luxuriate.
Daily activities at Cove Haven include an “XXX Newlywed / Not So-Newlywed Game,” Big Bucks Bingo, deer feeding, caricature drawings, and love letter writing for beginners. If you’re into staying active, the resort hosts rollerskating, indoor archery, billiards, mini-golf, basketball and various video arcades at Spooner’s Sports Bar. The resort’s gift shop is unlike any other I’ve ever seen – notably for its wide and unabashed range of lubricants, condoms, toys and X rated DVDs! As for meals, a reservation at Cove Haven includes an unlimited buffet-style breakfast in its dining room and a waitered dinner – both were quite good with exceptional service, professionalism and friendliness from the staff. Photographers are on hand before and after dinner for late ’80s/early ’90s-vintage portraits which are later edited into champagne glasses (among other scenarios) and are available for purchase the next morning in the gift shop for 20 bucks a pop.
As for evening entertainment, The Champagne Palace Nightclub features a wide range of comedians, musicians and more. On the particular weekend of my visit, I was treated to the “Vegas In Space” drag show hosted by the incredible Peppermint alongside the always amazing Phi Phi O’Hara, Sherry Vine among others. It was highly enjoyable/hilarious as was the opening comedian Patty Rosborough. The night continued in the form of an after-party with DJ Marc Anthony (not that one, sadly) which included all the Rihanna, Beyonce and Ariana your heart could possibly desire.
Opened in 1958, more than 65,000 couples now visit Cove Haven and its sister resorts Paradise Stream and Pocono Palace each year. For more information and to make a reservation visit the resort’s official site.
Last modified: October 16, 2017
