Straight Sex, Straight Talk, and Gay Tea

Life is like a giant swimming pool; you can either sink, swim, or slay. Oh, and you can look sickening in a speedo while you’re at it. But no matter how high the water gets, you have the strength to rise to the top.

“All you can do is just live in the moment and be present,” advises Hazel, the latest castaway from Canada’s Drag Race. “This is a competition. You have to have fun, but also work your ass off. Every day walking in that Werk Room I was like, ‘Put a smile on, even if you want to jump off a bridge right now,’ you know? You only have this opportunity once.”

To keep the water-sports metaphor flowing, Hazel continues, “I was a professional diver. I was on team Canada a few times… I started when I was like, six or seven, and then did it all the way until I graduated college at Florida State. I got a scholarship. With diving, you’re on a team, but it’s an individual sport. So that’s kind of like Drag Race where it’s like, you’re on a team of 12 artists/entertainers, but it’s all individual. You all aren’t going to be besties. So you just got to go for it and like, dive. And so diving really taught me about my work ethic, flexibility in my performances, and also being able to know when to explode and not to explode on people.”

Last episode’s roast challenge was a controlled burn, and Hazel did her best to fan the flames. “Paula Abdul was like, ‘You have to be so prepared anytime you want to do anything. You must know it from the front to the back.’ Oh, I knew those jokes, front to back, but right when you walk up there and you fumble your first words, everything goes out the door. So I was like, ‘Well, here we are!’ What you see is what you’re gonna get right now.”

Rebounding resiliently, Hazel prepared for battle. “Oh, I had the feeling. After my roast, I was already stretching. I was like, bring her on!”

Playfulness flourishes in Hazel as she explains that her beef with bestie PM was all for show. “There weren’t really any issues. It’s on TV, right? So it’s like, we’re filming a TV show. But if you see, they cut it, but I’m literally laughing and smacking P by the end of that fight. We were just being stupid, you know?”

She describes the unleashed untucked session like an out-of-body experience. “I totally had no recollection. I literally watched it. I was like, ‘Yes, Hazel! Yes!’ Oh, I was in Narnia. Okay, I was not present.”

Even in her Zen haze, Hazel’s competitive nature gnawed at her. “Obviously, we’re fighting for the beaver, but I knew I was gonna be lip syncing, okay? That’s why I was just going off. I was like, I don’t give a f***. If we’re gonna fight, let’s f***ing go right now.”

The mention of beavers brings up a particularly precious moment from the episode in which Hazel shouts-out her high school girlfriend. When asked about it, she erupts in good-natured guffaws. “Oh, my God. Not you bringing this. You’re the only person that has brought this up so far. I am living! Okay, you want the full story?”

Um, hell to the yes!

“Literally, I was in Mexico, I was 16, okay?” Hazel sets the scene. “I was gay as fuck, okay? Like, I was gayer than gay, but, like, in the closet, and we’re like making out at a bar, doing tequila shots. I was with my best girlfriend. And I was like, I’m gonna do it. And then we literally had sex and that’s that. Then after that, I literally texted her and I was like, ‘Hey, babe, thank you. Just have to say, you’re my first, and my last, because you’re so gorgeous. There’s no way that I will ever get anyone better.’ Like, we laugh about it. Okay, we’re friends to this day. She literally texted me after the show aired saying, ‘Not the mention.’”

Pivoting from memory lane to the queer-and-now, Hazel paints a picture of her lip sync showdown with PM. “I’m up against my best friend. I’m gonna give you a goddamn show. No, not me, *we* are. And that’s what we did, because I know what that person can do, and let me tell you, oof, you saw it.”

Indeed. We saw, we gagged, we death-dropped (metaphorically). In addition to winning the fab faceoff, PM also won Hazel’s undying love and respect.

“Who am I rooting for? Obviously for PM. Vancouver down.”

But Canada’s Drag Race transcends borders, besties, and beefs. “This season is something very, very special that I don’t think is going to happen again for a while just because of the level of talent. You have all the eight girls currently, from each province, representing Canada to the best of its ability. This cast is phenomenal, from the drama to the performances, to the looks, to how people interact with each other, you are always on your toes, and I’m just very fortunate that I’m a part of the season and get to represent what amazing drag Canada has.”

She dove in head first, navigated the next-level waters of Drag Race, and made a splash. If you’re not Team Hazel, you’re all wet!