Grief is the most traumatic, universal experience of one’s lifetime. Whether it is grief at the loss of a pet, a breakup, or the passing of a loved one, we will experience it at some point in our lives. No matter what tribe we subscribe to or what beliefs we have, no one is free from it. And while grief is so ubiquitous, it is still a subject that is not easily talked about, and going through it can often be a lonely experience. No one really knows what to say to someone going through loss, and often, those going through grieving find it hard to put into words what they need. There is no right way to grieve, there is no timeline for when grieving becomes manageable. While universal, it is unique for everyone. While dealing with the recent loss of my mother, a chance meeting with a kind soul would prove that indeed, there is a kind of beauty that can be found in grief, and that positive things can come from going through it. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
The kind soul I met is an author by happenstance, Daryl McCullough, whose debut book, The Story of Tree and Cloud, is a metaphorical tale about nature, offering insight into the mysteries of life, chance, and death, and intended for young audiences. Beautifully and lovingly illustrated by Daryl’s aunt Maryanne Smith, it tells the tale of an old oak tree named Folie who befriends a puddle of water, aptly named Puddle. The two forces of nature forge a loving friendship. As the weather changes, it is clear that Puddle will someday be gone. The story goes on to explain the ways of nature, how things change, how life is a beautiful cycle, and that the idea of death is just saying goodbye to the form that we know and love. There is beauty in death, as it challenges us to appreciate the life and love we have known.
Folie says it best, “When someone we love leaves us, that person’s beautiful spirit lives on within us, alongside us, and in the atmosphere around us. We just have to look for signs and listen carefully, because that spirit is always with us.”
As with all powerful children’s books, the result is bittersweet. It is innocently presented, tearfully understood, and beautifully put. Fate seemed to intervene in Daryl’s life to inspire him to write The Story of Tree and Cloud. Daryl’s mother had been very ill, fighting cancer twice, and dealing with multiple heart surgeries, and other debilitating auto-immune diseases. Extremely close, Daryl would travel back East from the West Coast, living there several months at a time, to be by his mother’s side. Though she lived well beyond what was expected, her passing was inevitable. Inevitable, too, was his book.
I was holding my mother’s hand when she drew her last breath. Dad was holding her head, singing to her. I could not shake those images for the longest time, but I later realized that was also a gift – one that my other siblings didn’t get to have. Mother passed with her loving husband of 62 years and her baby holding her hand. I knew that meant a peaceful rest despite all the pain and suffering she went through. Knowing her entire loving family surrounded her in her final days is comforting. After she died, I was upstairs in my childhood bedroom going through my desk drawers, where my mother had left a stack of items and memorabilia. On top was a painted plaque that read, “Fear not, I am with thee.” And directly underneath that sign was a school assignment I had done in junior high. It was a hand-drawn picture storybook I had written for English class. The assignment was to write an extended metaphor or parable about something, and I chose death since I was grappling with my cousin’s death at the time.
I was very moved that my mother was so thoughtful to have saved that for 40+ years. And she took the care – during her weakest times – to leave those mementos for me was quite a message. I knew then and there that I needed to do something about that story. It took me five years to get it rewritten, illustrated by my wonderfully talented Aunt Maryanne, and published. But that Christmas, on the 5th anniversary of her death, I could give that book to family and friends. It truly meant the world to me.
When most junior high school kids were writing about superheroes or video games, Daryl was writing about loss.
I’ve said it was not merely an assignment; it became my self-soothing after losing my cousin Scott to suicide. I struggled to process my pain, and I was keenly aware of the pain my surviving cousins, aunt, and uncle were processing. It was a dark time; people were often ashamed to talk about suicide. Also, there were seemingly no real tools available to me then. Luckily, that English class was there as an outlet.
What was it like for Daryl, returning to a story from his youth out of grief and reworking it while dealing with a new level of grief as an adult?
It was a catharsis for me. To be able to pivot from loss to the idea of creating something special was very helpful to my psyche. While working on the project, I told myself and Maryanne I don’t know how many books we will sell, but if it touches just one person and helps them, I will be happy. I know it has touched many more people so far. The messages and responses have been tremendously heartwarming.
The Story of Tree and Cloud is presented as a children’s book. I have read it multiple times (and continue to do so) while dealing with my own, intense grief. Where religion and self-help books try and over-explain death and the grieving process, this book is inspirational in its simplicity. There is a comfort in going back to story time. Daryl’s intent in writing the book was to make it universal, though realizing our youth are experiencing their own forms of grief.
I believe the story is not just for children but for anyone struggling with what can seem like an arbitrary and cruel circle of life. However, school-age kids today are growing up in an era of mass school shootings and the crisis that is social media; I believe they can and need to understand the notion of loss and subsequent grief. Death and dying are a natural part of life, and processing the feelings associated with loss can be complicated for a young child. But I hope this gentle metaphor of a friendly tree, puddle, and cloud is one of the kinder ways to help with that process. After the mass shooting last year, I sent about a dozen copies of the book to the Uvalde, Texas, public library. The librarian called me to thank me, saying they got thousands of book donations literally, but as far as she knew, mine was the only written for the children dealing with grief.
Being by his mother’s side would change Daryl’s outlook on life. His experience and writing his debut book would shift his life focus.
My instincts to drop everything and be there were completely right. I am so glad I had the final days – as hard as they were – together with her. I didn’t have that same fortune with my dad, who died on Valentine’s Day last year. I know both Mother and Dad lived full lives with very few regrets. They raised a large, loving family and were pillars of their community. Mother’s illness and difficult final years showed me that we are not guaranteed anything in life. We must try to leave nothing on the table and leave no good deed undone. Several years ago, I explored my “personal brand” and landed on “Pay the power of family forward!” I may not have a large family like my parents, but I am blessed to have a big family on both sides of my marriage. We can and should choose to positively impact our loved ones and our community, even or especially those who haven’t been as fortunate.
In terms of life after death, I now have more peace with the concept as an adult. I grew up in a Christian family who attended church regularly, but religion did not consume our family. My husband is Jewish and would describe his upbringing similarly. We are spiritual, though, praying before meals and at bedtime. We believe wholeheartedly that the spirit lives on when the body leaves – it has to. Humanity is far more complex than just cellular physical beings.
The Story of Tree and Cloud is truly a family affair. Daryl’s aunt, his mother’s sister, Maryanne Smith has created the world of Daryl’s story in a beautiful and thought-provoking style. Her illustrations capture the essence of Daryl’s characters while allowing the reader to imagine and create the finite details of Folie and Puddle.
My aunt and I have been very close since childhood. She was a lifelong artist and painter; her home was a creative, safe space for me. I would spend hours on end as a child playing with my cousin and making crafts, fun houses, and more. We discussed this project only once before she agreed to do the illustrations. She painted nature in all its stunning glory, and we knew that we wanted these illustrations to be nature-based, not cartoons or caricatures. When I reworked the initial book, she took the manuscript and got to work – she painted several major pieces to help illustrate the story. Her illustrations are so beloved that we created a companion coloring book for kids and families, available to download for free on the book website www.thestoryoftreeandcloud.com. Readers love her style and creations.
With the joy and success of The Story of Tree and Cloud, the two have more stories to tell. Their latest book deals with body positivity as experienced by bears in the wild.
Maryanne and I have completed Chubby the Bear’s Big Choice (now available on Amazon). I grew up as a fat, gay kid and was teased regularly by bullies. I wanted to focus this next project on the issue of body shaming and other pain caused too often by bullies. Only recently have we as a culture started talking about these important issues – it is sad that we still find it novel and a bit awkward to discuss ideas like “size inclusivity” and “fat-shaming.” I hope this book can chip away at that and provide some entertaining story that inspires and teaches. If it helps just one child (or adult) feel better about themselves, embrace their body, and find their self-esteem, then it was worth it to us and our legacy.
The gentleness of his storytelling is a foil to the formidable presence he has made in the business world. With a Master of Arts in Communications Management from the University of Southern California, he has 30 years of experience in public relations and marketing communications and served as CEO for PR superhero Citizen Relationships. From the onset, he was a hard worker, and his star in the business world rose quickly. He has amassed quite a few awards and accolades.
I started working in PR as an undergrad at Albright College, where I was studying English and Communication Arts. My program required multiple PR internships. I first worked in PR for the American Cancer Society, later in advertising for the regional cable TV operator, and finally in-house at my college’s alums and PR office, where I was asked to fill a maternity leave. I had stumbled into that big job opportunity upon graduation without having any other real plans. But it worked. I stayed on to work for nearly five years as the director of alumni relations. It was a big job with lots of responsibility and growth. My love of academia eventually led me to leave PA to start my graduate degree program in Communications Management at USC Annenberg. While completing my master’s degree, I started working in the PR agency world, first at a local, woman-owned environmental and social issues PR firm (ahead of its time, really) and later as an account executive at Rogers & Cowen, a major entertainment PR agency. I was working on the Taco Bell account when I was approached by a new start-up agency inviting me to help open their LA office. It was the start of a 25+ year career at that fast-growing firm, which is now called Citizen Relations, where I would rise to president and later CEO and now global Chairman emeritus.
For Daryl, his two worlds of writing and running large corporations go hand in hand. Inspired by his early love of all things music and theater and an early career in acting, creativity is an essential tool in the office.
I think creativity is central to communications planning. I’ve been part of or led hundreds of brainstorming sessions for brands or businesses looking for the next big burst of publicity or viral marketing. I was in the room when our team developed the now famous “Taco Liberty Bell” idea, and I got to help a huge team of professionals see that massive PR stunt through to execution. That stunt – where we created an April Fool’s joke that Taco Bell bought the Liberty Bell and renamed it the Taco Liberty Bell – is so famous it has been an answer on Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune, and Trivial Pursuit! And it’s been on nearly every “best/cleverest” PR Stunts of all-time list for decades.
Meeting Daryl in person is like meeting a real-life gentle giant. His imposing stature comes along with a sincere and affectionate handshake and a smile that makes you think you’ve been friends forever. His words of encouragement come from a place of love; he truly is what his books teach. He supports the arts fervently, and together with his husband George, can be seen at just about every musical, concert, or play, and they are just as at home hanging out in the bear community as they are at the opera. The two launched McGriffin Media, a social and digital marketing PR company, during the pandemic, and they can be seen as a real LGBTQ+ couple in a major brand commercial. Can we say #couplegoals?
From that chubby kid in Pennsylvania to the young man afraid to come out until age 28, Daryl has certainly come into his own and enjoyed and worked hard for what life has to offer. And even with his continued success and optimistic outlook on life, he understands the power of grief and has made a way to draw light from it, not just for himself, but for the world around him.
His message to the LGBTQ community?
Be good, do your best, share your gifts (whatever they may be) with others, and pay whatever success or joy you’ve received forward. For me, it’s paying family forward, but we have our chosen families, too. And by all means, please tell your stories. You never know who you might touch just by sharing your story.
Having gotten a sneak peek at his upcoming sophomore book Chubby the Bear’s Big Choice, he once again shows his mastery of blending the sweet innocence of youth with the struggles that we have all faced in life, beautifully showing hope and love in a story that is as captivating to children as it is as touching to adults. Hopefully, this is the storytelling of the future where diversity and inclusivity are celebrated and not just a tale.
Follow Daryl on IG: @Daryl_Mc
The Story of Tree and Cloud and Chubby the Bear’s Big Choice are available on Amazon.
Illustrations by Maryanne Smith
Photo of Daryl and George by Haldane Morris (2023)
Last modified: January 5, 2024
