He Has Looks and Brains, But Money Changes Everything

Carol Sugar-Burke, one of our friends at Bespoke Matchmaking, answers our questions on finding love. Today: What happens when Mr. Right can’t make bank?

Dear Carol,
I am dating someone I met at a meet up group that I honestly have to admit I really knew nothing about. As time has gone on it is apparent he is intelligent but; not highly educated and although he is beautiful to look at and kind with a warm heart and a good soul we are really not at the same intellectual level or even close to the same income bracket. He seems to have trouble holding on to a job and I am afraid I am beginning to lose respect for him although I am trying very hard not to. Is this normal? Is it fair to end a relationship just because someone is not as financially secure as I may be?

Sincerely,

Accomplished

Dear Accomplished,

When you meet someone who you want to build a long term relationship with some of the many things to consider are goals, objectives, lifestyles and things you have in common. You certainly don’t want a clone of yourself but; a compliment to your personality. If the things you enjoy to do he cannot afford to do and you are always footing the bill will you look at him differently? Will you still respect him if you feel like her is not an equal partner? These are things to consider when deciding to move forward in this relationship. A relationship is nothing without mutual respect. If you enjoy fine dining and his idea of fine dining is dinner at the local pub you certainly are not in sync. If your lifestyle includes travel abroad and he has never left the United States and has no desire to; this could be an issue… Do you both live within your means? Are you happy having him pay what he can afford and taking care of the rest? Talk about these financial and lifestyle issues before you go any further to see if you really are a match .if you both can find a way to make it work without him losing his confidence and you losing respect for him then and only then will it work.

Best,

Carol

Carol Sugar-Burke is an Executive Matchmaker for the premier gay and lesbian executive matchmaking firm Bespoke Matchmaking. For more information on Bespoke Matchmaking and to learn about our matchmaking service please click the link below to visit our website, www.bespokematchmaking.com.