Battle of the Bulges: Assessing the Best Gay Swimwear

Put your queer dollars to werk this summer by tucking them into the right waistband. No, we’re not talking about tipping your go-go dancers (although you really should, honey); we’re talking about investing your hard earned cash in gay owned and operated companies that make the hawttest designs around.

First up: feast on feistiness with Nasty Pig, a vision of decadence born out of the Chelsea club scene back in 1994. Founders and life partners David Lauterstein and Frederick Kearney bring their kinks from the dark room and into the light with a fury that ignites Fire Island and beyond.

Did someone say Dark Room? Oopsie, it was us! Celebrate the spirit of anonymous groping all summer long with styles that cradle your man-meat and warm your heart. We can’t stop ogling the entrepreneurs behind (pause for suggestive wordplay) Dark Room, Andres Santana and Paul McNulty.

Their affinity for beefy, bearded behemoths fosters an XXL love of the male form. If you weren’t gay before gazing upon Paul and Andres’ swimwear, you will be afterward.

Voila! And now that we’re on the same gayge (gay page), let’s strut our cakes over to Andrew Christian. Although his brand is most snugly associated with skivvies, A.C. is also heating up swimsuit season with an eye-popping, jaw-dropping menu of options.

To put some ooh la la in your nether region, check out Garçon – we know we will. Their shapes have a decidedly European flair, blending bravado and refinement into a well-contoured package.

Does the wordplay ever “end” – nope, no butts about it! We’re simply nuts about backsides, but let’s not ignore the all-important fronts. After all, one of the bulging benefits of being gay is the ability to explore our erogenous zones inside, out, and around the way, gurl.

From every angle, JJ Malibu prides itself as the go-to garment maker for circuit partiers worldwide. You may recognize their drool-worthy designs from RuPaul’s Drag Race – oh pit crew, indeed!

Yaas, these swimsuits are sexy, but let’s not forget the moral of the story: it’s what’s inside the swimsuit that counts. Speaking of insides, watch as three scantily clad beach bums discuss the fine art of cleansing in the following video. Surf’s up and bottoms up!