German Priests Bless Gay Marriages Despite the Vatican’s Opposition

Let’s put it in terms even a hetero can understand: if an older straight couple got married, would you blurt out, “When is she gettin’ pregnant?”

No, because that would be très stupide.

So, why do so many religious groups discriminate against gay marriage using the rationale that we can’t procreate? Seems like a big, fat parade of hypocrisy to us. Luckily, we’re not alone. A group of German priests has vowed to honor same-sex unions despite the Vatican’s opposition to equality, decency, and just plain ol’ humanity.

Their statement reads, “In view of the refusal of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith to bless homosexual partnerships, we raise our voices and say: We will continue to accompany people who enter into a binding partnership in the future and bless their relationship.”

Amen to that!

But rather than simply tolerating the LGBTQ community, these padres went a brilliant step further and embraced gay marriage fully. They even compiled a web page of churches that provide services for queer folks looking to tie the proverbial knot.

The resources are truly tear-jerking, filled with exclamations such as the following:

A blessed celebration for all who love and are loved, i.e. for EVERYONE.

Every person and every love IS a blessing!

Love wins. Love is a blessing. People who love each other are blessed. 

I’m not crying, YOU’RE crying. Before we get too emotional up in here, let’s cleanse our palate with a sorbet of German hotties.

Ah, that’s better.

In addition to officiating same-sex nuptials, the priests often live-streams their ceremonies, thus spreading the love across cyberspace and into our appreciative hearts.

The message has taken root in nearby Austria, where a cadre of clergy started their own movement called the Pfarrar Initiative. In a declaration reacting to the Vatican’s unholy ignorance, the Austrians stated that they “are deeply appalled by the new Roman decree that wants to prohibit the blessing of same-sex loving couples… This is a relapse into times that we had hoped to be overcome with Pope Francis.”

Punctuating their position, the priests concluded, “In solidarity with so many, we will not reject any loving couple in the future who wants to celebrate God’s blessing, which they experience every day, in a church-service.”

There you have it: we no longer need to hold our peace. We will speak now, we will put a ring on it, and we will kiss the hell out of our heavenly partners. Thy will be done, hon.