Happy Spanksgiving – Let’s Get Stuffed!

As with all festivities, gays just do Thanksgiving better than breeders. From mimosas in the morning to sexy afternoon snuggles, the holidays are located firmly in queer country – bienvenue!

In the spirit of nourishing tradition, let’s chart the history of LGBTQ+ Thanksgiving, shall we? It started WAY back in the 1990s, when closeted college students would reunite with their families and then sneak out after dinner to rendezvous with their “totally straight” hometown hookups.

With taboo kisses still lingering on their lips, our brave forefathers, foremothers, and fore-trans-warriors would return to their familial homes to simmer in obscurity.

But eventually, those closet doors shattered into rainbow confetti, ushering in a new gay of empowerment and dating opportunities. Pioneering queers (pioqueers) transformed Thanksgiving from a boring afternoon filled with stories about Aunt Shirley’s latest brush with gout to a celebration of coming out! Hey, that rhymed unintentionally – just another example of how fabulous we gays are.

The newly liberated LGBTQ’mmunity lived life out loud, spreading gropes and gossip wherever we roamed.

Some families accepted their awesomely out queer kids, but others really missed the boat. Our Gayflower voyage would not be deterred, however, and many of us forged family bonds with like-minded peers. It was akin to a Normal Rockwell portrait of idyllic queer life with a side of man-gravy.

But this year, gatherings are gauche. We can’t attend Thanksgiving dinner with loved ones without worrying that we may get them sick (or worse). A new generation of tastemakers and heartbreakers will find new ways of commemorating this cherished holigay season.

Will they come out to their birth families via Zoom? Instead of hooking up in person, will they sext their first crushes? How does stuffing play into these shenanigans? We are confident that love will find a way and Thanksgiving will continue to be gay. Wow, that was another accidental rhyme scheme; you’re welcome.

The queer mavericks of bygone years are passing the baton to you, young gays, like a turkey-baster loaded with good cheer. Happy Spanksgiving!

Photo: Joe Phillips