Size Matters: Get Your Fill of Big Dipper

Sure, Shakespeare wrote some ok stuff, but he never spit verses like “I need something rough and thick and wet and juicy, a five course meal to make my ass so loosey-goosey.” That distinction goes to our crush du jour, Big Dipper.

The above lyrical miracles trip from the hit single Meat Quotient. It’s an ode to the carnivore in all of us (penetrative pun intended). Big Dipper celebrates the eat-or-be-eaten dynamic in queer culture, growling into the microphone with every declaration he delivers.

The rapper’s evolution is curiously evocative of our progression as a community. BD followed the success of Meat Quotient with the scandalously sex-positive Skank. The thoroughly NSFW music video spoofs Pretty Woman with a barrage of bare asses and bathhouse shenanigans.

But this call-guy has a heart of gold, as evidenced by his subsequent anthem Lookin. Big Dipper and his crew gyrate through your every fantasy as car wash cuties getting clean while they dirty up your mind.

The musician is gleefully unapologetic about being a hunky, hirsute dreamboat. “Jiggle, jiggle, it’s a party in the middle” he croons as he grips his protruding belly, stroking the scrumptious fur lining his ever-bare midriff.

With a sway of their hips and mayhem on their lips, the men of Lookin form a chorus line of flirtation.

But as Big Dipper’s star continues to rise, his tone takes on a more defiant stance. Last year’s single Back Up Off Me keeps the listener at arm’s length with an opening stanza that asserts the artist’s raw sensuality as well as his vulnerability.

“Too far from perfect, not your ideal, nobody’s role model, full f*** how you feel.”

The accompanying instrumentation is appropriately garage-rock gritty as Big Dipper continues:

“I want your trouble, yeah, and we could fight. This beef is forever with no end in sight.”

At the risk of over-analyzing, it sounds as though Back Up Off Me was the product of an era in which LGBTQ individuals were fed up and worn down. We grind deliriously along with the seductive beat, but we yearn for a return to simpler times, when denim shorts and sunny smiles light the way to an orgy of enlightenment.

And the perfect soundtrack to any such hedonistic hoedown? Big Dipper, obvi. Enjoy!