The Lens

Growing Up Gay & The Joy of Aging Gracefully

“Maturity” has such a dour ring to it. The term immediately conjures visions of a sexless grandma scowling over the rim of her glasses as she wags a skeletal finger in your general direction to express her sincere disapproval.

Luckily, gays have reclaimed the mantle of maturity. We have branded various “daddy” materials as the gold standard of manliness to which we can all aspire.

Whether you are a socks-and-sandals kinda papa or a socks-and-speedo type of fella or simply a connoisseur of socks and sensuality, you march to your own beat (but for some reason, socks are the common denominator).

There’s hotness afoot!

Queer women have also pioneered a sense of cool cachet, led by such timeless tastemakers as Holland Taylor and Sarah Paulson.

The LGBTQ community has proven that we can grow up without slowing down. We have always defined our own terms; that’s the joy of maneuvering the margins. Gays of a certain age can be otters or wolves or bears (oh my!), forever disproving the stereotype that we must maintain an eternally twinkish tableau of Dorian Gray repose.

But no matter your flavor, the golden years can be savored. One of the unique benefits of same-sex attraction is just that: we intimately understand our own sex. The human body is familiar territory for veteran fornicators, and we can explore a bevy of ways to push each other’s (and our own) buttons… over and over and over again.

Intimacy is glorious, especially when you have a sense of humor about it. Some of the most liberating content being produced these days squarely acknowledges the foibles of getting older while embracing the endless quest for new discoveries.

Speaking of discoveries, there’s an underrated gem of a series called Smothered. It mines the fertile landscape of long-term relationships, unearthing gems like the therapy session at the center of the very first episode.

Ralph and Randy negotiate the delicate absurdities of coupleship, arguing about the last time they canoodled. “We had sex three days ago,” blurts Randy. When Ralph questions his partner’s assertion, Randy clarifies, “Oh my god, we wacked each other off during This Is Us.

The dialogue serves as more than just a punchline; it opens a window into the touching, well-traveled terrain of two hilariously entwined souls who know one another inside and out (innuendo intended).

So, if you haven’t seen it yet, grow up! But no matter what you do, stay gay!






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Published by
Kevin Perry

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