Matthew Camp Gets Deep

We often use the term sex worker, so wouldn’t it stand to reason that there are sex auditions? The answer is a resounding YES, OH GOD YES! The new reality series Slag Wars: The Next Destroyer follows the travails of several aspiring fornicators of various gender expressions grunting their way to the top… or bottom, as the case may be. The pervy proceedings are orchestrated by adult entertainment legend Matthew Camp, the emcee who makes us go wheeee!

“You would think, all these whores – it’s gonna be the most crazy thing ever,” Camp reflects in a recent interview with PinkNews. “But everyone was so nice and lovely. It was the sweetest group of people that I’d been around in such a long time, it was such an uplifting experience.”

The hung hunk welcomes all interested parties to join him in a virtual orgy of acceptance… even your parents. “I want to see some moms on there, I want to see some dads on there, everyone needs to start making porn!”

Although Camp makes sleazy look easy, he truly believes that penetration is our collective ticket to prosperity. “I think sex work is a very viable way for people to make money and be happy,” he argues. “If people really start embracing pornography and separating it from trauma, if they can take those two and separate them and realize that sex work and sex entertainment is a very excellent thing for entertainment right now. I think that we’ll get a bunch of money in an economy that will like drive technology, will drive us closer to A.I. and smarter computers and better interactions via online.”

As an early adopter (and dominator) of OnlyFans, Camp regards technology as his de facto religion, and we are all eager to kneel at his altar. “I like the idea of spirituality. I like the idea of an organization to the universe. And from what I can bridge between quantum physics and religion, is that there is this idea of a singular consciousness. What is consciousness? Is the world a full-on matrix? Is it a simulation?”

O to the M to the G, Matthew Camp just effed our brains out. Thanks for the intellectual rogering, big guy – we can’t wait for the next round!